Naps, Baps and Craps

Dear Me Then,

Remember when naps were something you did on holiday before going out to get really wasted on sangria? 

Or later on when naps were an essential part of pregnancy, slotted in after work on that cushy sofa? 

Ah, how that word can change.  Depending on what is going on in your little one’s life, that three letter word can conjure up feelings of complete dread and horror, or ultimate bliss.  

In the start when they are tiny, babies seem to sleep all the time. It’s amazing, how can they be asleep so much and yet so demanding? Then as they get bigger and it’s required of you to build some kind of “routine” (that’s another word I now despise) it becomes a battle of “yes you will sleep”, “waa I don’t wanna”, “but I need to make dinner”, “but I’m a baby, waa” and so on. 

So there’s this hectic period of ooh a year or so? when you’re never sure when they are going to sleep, when they will be awake, when they will be tired and when they will be hyper. So if you want to stay sane, CHILL THE FUCK OUT.  It’s hard but try to chill. It’s a challenge when you’re trying to be organised, but the fact is, the world revolves around that little bugger, and if you forgo a peaceful nap at home for that all essential trip to Sainsburys, man will you pay.

You might be all confused when the books all tell you that you will recognise the “signs of tiredness” in your baby. I just about recognise them now, but seriously, when you are sleep-deprived and nutrient-deprived and all kinds of hormonal, you might miss a few things. Plus, some babies (mentioning no names) are really weird and decide that even though they are exhausted they are still going to lap their cot 5 times, hit Gloworm in the face a bit, then sing to him, then throw their dummy out of the cot, demand it back LOUDLY, then sing a little bit more before dropping off in a “downward dog” pose. How is that looking tired?

A routine never stays that. Just as you get into the swing of something they always throw you a curveball. Those few days/weeks when your routine is predictable though, are PRAISE THE LORD AMAZING. When you know exactly how long she’s going to be asleep, and exactly what you can achieve in that time, oh the joy! Chances are you’ll have a list as long as your arm of things to do during that nap, but please, please, the first thing you must always do is have a cup of tea. Oh yeah, tea. Bring that right on. You might want to ease off the cakes now your kid is nearing one and you still look pregnant though. Just a thought.

OK, that was naps. Baps and Craps next week.

Boiler Suit at the ready...Weaning!

I am nowhere near even finished with this, or properly experienced, or any kind of expert, but so far this is what I have learnt about weaning.

If you’re the kind of person who gets upset about mess (I know you aren’t, Nic) then you’d better get over it, pronto.  There will be mess, lots of it, and often. All you can do is laugh, sigh, and clean up.  I remember saying to a more experienced mum how I was quite excited about weaning, how I thought it was going to be so much fun experimenting.  It is!  BUT, there are days when I’ve changed my outfit and the Duck’s three times, hoovered every nook and cranny twice, wiped various surfaces constantly and have all sorts in my hair… when locking myself in a cupboard seems a really attractive option.

Don’t get me started on all the lovingly prepared batches of homemade grub I rustle up in about 3 hours… there is a rule that states, the longer you take to prepare food for your child, the more likely they will reject it in a dramatic hurl across the room, or equally dramatic hurl from the stomach if you’re less lucky.

Along with this goes the “Oh my Gawd is my baby eating enough? What if she starves?” fear.  I get it sometimes, and it’s REALLY scary when they don’t drink.  Keep in touch with the doctors on that one.  But sometimes they will go through phases of “I lurve pasta so much Mummy I think I will eat just that forever and ever” and then “Mummy this pasta tastes like crap get it out of my face right now RIGHT NOOOOWWWW”!   

My mum calmed me down when I was having a freak out by telling me about her similar panic when I was a baby.  Apparently all I would eat was one particular flavour of baby food,  for breakfast, lunch, dinner, I would only eat this one thing.  Mum was worried I wasn’t getting all my nutrients so asked the health visitor what on earth she could do. The health visitor looked at me (strapping, sturdy and chubster come to mind) and said “Just look at her, do you think she’s suffering?”

So now, if the Duck only wants to eat crackers for tea, or raisins for the day, I try to relax and think “fine.” I do believe kids pick up on your feelings too, so if I start freaking out, she’s only going to do it more.  Just like saying “No” when she touches plug sockets or people’s specs makes her instantly addicted to the bloody things. 

By the way plastic bibs with sleeves are AWESOME. And those pelicanny ones. And I really am gutted that I haven’t constructed some kind of overall for myself yet… We were discussing at the weekend a potential “Dexter” homage to prepare the room for Duck feeding time, but maybe that’s taking it too far…

It is fun though, really!  The Duck is so open to trying everything (even cardboard and yoghurt pots it seems) and it’s so rewarding to see her managing food on her own.  Some popular finger foods in our house at the moment (tell me more!):

·         Whole boiled carrots

·         Flapjack

·         Mini-muffins baked by Emily!

·         Mini corn and tinned sweetcorn 

Take tons of photos and videos if you can, it’s hilarious.  My current cheer up video is one of the Duck being scared shitless of a boiled egg. Brilliant.